nightmare day

nightmare day
well,thatwas easily the most stressful shopping trip!goin on hols next thurs n had to go shoppingget few bits.dd was nightmare,kept running off runnin into shops,wanting everything.lying on floor screaming.dh is good with her i dont know where he gets his patience.i have non!she was the only child in shop centre carrying on like that!which leads me to......im crap mother.where did i go wrong??well,i know where i went wrong,i just could never listen to her crying n whinging so gave her everything she wanted to shut her up..........ive created a monster!so upsetting looking at all the pregnant women there too.n all the prams n new borns.i feel ive wasted my life marrying j.hes got bi polar,self harmer n heart of gold.no sperm tho.we got letter from his psychiatrist yesterday for adoption board,doesnt look good.who would give us a child?so!we will just have to do ivf again and again and again until we get child.so fucking pissed off!ive no fucking life with him.i wonder what my life would be like if i had married some1 else?some1 fertile and not crazy?its too late to leave him!who would have me?no1,ill just have to stay n live life of misery!this holiday prob going be bloody nitemare again,altho nothin can be as bad as last yrs 1!he is a loser and so am i for staying with him!